Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.