Hot Jokes

BIG CHIEF NO SHIT!!!!

Hot 2 hours ago

In an indian camp there lived an INDIAN chief who had a problem. .. he had constepation... so he send his apprentice to the medicine man to fetch some medicine.. which would unconstepate him!
The apprentice goes to the medicine man.. says BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! THE medicine man gives the boy a samll package saying. . this is strong medicine thats y only take in small quantiy.. ask chief to take this. .. the apprentice goes bak and gives it to the chief. .. who takes it happily. ..
But again the nextday the chief had no luk. the apprentice goes bak to the medicine man and says. . BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! medicine man gives a stronger dose this time. ... boy goes bak and hands it to the chief. .. again no luck so next day he goes back
says BIG CHIEF NO SHIT! the medicine man gives him the strongest dose. . and says give this to chief.. the boy returns and gives it to the chief. . who was now desperate...

The next day the boy returns saying "MEDICINE MAN MEDICINE more...

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

Amazing Anagrams

Hot 3 days ago

Amazing AnagramsDormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness == Genuine Class Semolina == Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one Contradiction == Accord not in it This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Becomes: In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. And the grand finale: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil A. Armstrong becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

THE NATIVITY SCENE

Hot 5 days ago

A 7-year old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity. The picture was very good, including Mary, Joseph and, of course, baby Jesus. However, there was also a fat man standing in the corner of the stable. When the child was asked about it, she replied, "Oh, That's Round John Virgin."

Killed The Pig

Hot 6 days ago

One day, Mahathir and his chauffer were riding around in Negeri Sembilan when suddenly, out of nowhere, a big pig ran out of a bush. They could not stop the limousine in time and the pig was splattered on the road. Mahathir, afraid of being accused for anything, immediately gave the chauffer R1000 and told him to go into the owners' hut, apologize for the loss and give him some compensation. Mahathir waited in the limousine for a long time, but his chauffer did not come back. Finally, after a two hour wait, the chauffer came back, his tie and collar loose, pants unbuttoned, bleary eyed with beer and lipstick stains all over his shirt and clutching an empty bottle of champagne in one hand and what seems like a R5000 note in the other. Mahathir asked,' How in the world did you end up like this.'' Well,' the chauffer said,' The farmer was so happy, he shook hands with me, took out R5000 from his own wallet, had his sons pour out a bottle of champagne for me and had his daughters make hot more...

Going Downtown

Hot 1 week ago

A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business.
After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice, "Well, just what are you doing?" She replies, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money!!"

A small piece of sodium which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame. I melt whenever I see you. . . ", the sodium pined."It's just a phase you're going through", replied the Bunsen burner.