I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
Q: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
the guy said," twenty dollars?"
"one hundred dollars?"
"two hunderd dollars?"
"five hundred dollars?"
the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"