Hot Jokes

Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.
Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.
Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"

Your dog Is Dead

Hot 5 days ago

A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something." The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead". The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else." So, the vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a Labrador retriever. The dog jumps up on the table and sniffs the other dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. The vet says, "I'm very sorry lady, your dog is dead. "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else... PLEASE" the lady cries. So the vet goes into another room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just more...

Chrome or Not?

Hot 6 days ago

What do rednecks call ductape?
CHROME

what do you call daniel townsend at the beach? large piece of peligan shit.

The biggest losers

Hot 1 week ago

Air France has revealed it may prevent obese passengers from boarding its planes, for what they say are "safety reasons." When you add this to their insistence on always speaking French, they've pretty much found a way to keep any American tourist from ever traveling to France.

Only Place to go

Hot 2 weeks ago

A biker dies and wakes up in heaven. Upon looking back on his life he realises he shouldn't be here so he says to himself I should ask God why I'm here.
When he asks him, God said, "There is no Hell. This is the only place you can go."
So the biker looks around and notices
a group of people outside of the pearly gates, kicking themselves in the ass, and he said "What about them?"
God says "They didn't know this was the only place you could go either, so they were good their whole lives."