Hot Jokes

You Might Be Ghetto

Hot 6 days ago

You might be ghetto if the rims on your car cost more than your car does!

Ugly Beast

Hot 1 week ago

I dreamt last night that I went to Heaven, and I met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. I asked him that since I arrived in Heaven if I could take a look around the place. St. Peter agreed, and even came along with me to show me around. We went a ways, until we met President Clinton, tied to one of the most ugliest beast you could ever, ever imagine. It was nearly human, probably about 95 years old, 5 inch thick glasses, grease just dripping off its body, muttering every now and then like a sick crow. We asked Willie why he was chained to this awful creature.
Willie replied: "Well, when I used to live on Earth, I committed a number of sins, and now I'm chained to this really ugly old thing as penance."
We wished President Clinton the best of luck, and moved on. A while later we met with none other than Elvis Presley, the King of Rock, and he was tied to another of the most ugliest creatures you could imagine, even worse than the first one. We asked Mr. Presley why he was more...

Emotional needs !

Hot 1 week ago

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
"WHAT!?" says her husband.
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn't care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don't even play more...

50 Facts About Women

Hot 1 week ago

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the more...

Confessed killer and creepy pervert, John Mark Karr, may just be a creepy pervert. Authorities are begining to doubt his confession, some have even called it a vain publicity stunt. Questions are begining to surround the case. Questions like, how does a creepy, blue shirt pervert get past the interview for a teaching job? How could he be in Colorado, when his ex-wife, whom he married when she was 16, says he was Alabama. And why do we allow states like Alabama to let 16 year old girls marry creepy, blue shirt perverts.
Even Jon Ramsey, Jonbenet's father expressed his doubts about Karr. "That's funny", said Ramsey, "I don't remember him being there when I was killing our daughter."

911

Hot 2 weeks ago

Sharifah is explaining to Pei Lee the bad day she'd had at work. Sharifah's boss had suffered a heart attack and died. Pei Lee said, "How horrible! What did you do?" Sharifah shook her head. "There was nothing I could do! He kept yelling at me to call 911, but he wouldn't tell me the rest of the numbers!"

snap, crackle and pop

Hot 2 weeks ago

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"? A firefly with a short circuit!