Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.
Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend? They were both driving their cars at the time!
Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit? They are both ginger nuts!
Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes!
There Were Two Brothers, Who Were Very Naughty. If Anything Went Wrong In A Locality They Were Suspected. So One Day Their Parents Decided To Take Them To A Counsellor.
At The Counsellor’s Place, He Asked The Younger Brother: “Where Is God? ”
The Kid Went Blank. The Counsellor Again Repeated The Question. At This The Kid Cried And Went To His Older Brother Saying That They Were In Trouble Because God Was Lost And They Were Being Suspected For Stealing Him.
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed!
I'm always forgetting things," the distraught man grumbled to the psychiatrist. "What should I do?"
"The first thing to do," the doctor prescribed, "is pay me in advance."