Chuck Norris is the only person that can survive russian roulette with a fully loaded gun
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
- G. Gordon Liddy
Why don't vegetarian women scream during orgasms?
They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!
What starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?