Hot Jokes

I don't mind the rat race

Hot 23 hours ago

I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

Some soul-searching showbiz questions
By Timothy M. Gray
HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - There are eternal questions that may never be answered: What is reality? What is the meaning of life? Why was I born? When was the last time Lauren Bacall went to a supermarket? What kind of people would allow their marriage ceremony to be performed on Live With Regis & Kathie Lee? We'll wait a moment while you ponder those questions.
I know, the fifth one was the hardest. Then are you ready for some more? OK, get out a clean sheet of paper and a No. 2 pencil, and answer the following.
Since A Streetcar Named Desire, The Moon Is Blue, Lady in a Cage and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? were once considered shocking and scandalous, does that mean American Movie Classics may one day be airing Showgirls and Natural Born Killers?
If the writers and director of the Oscarcast can win an Emmy for their work, what can the writers and director of the Emmys win?
Sometimes, when you're really more...

Four guys were driving cross country together-one from Idaho, one from Iowa,
one from Florida and the last one from New York.
A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag
and begins throwing them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks "What the hell are you doing?". The
man from Idaho says, "Man, we have SO MANY of these damned things in Idaho,
they're laying on the ground - I'm sick of looking at them!!!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Iowa begins pulling husks of corn
from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks "What are you doing that for?". The man from Iowa
replies, "Man, we have so many of these damned things in Iowa that I am SICK
of looking at them!!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes
the New Yorker out!

Being a liberal

Hot 2 days ago

You don't have to be insane to be a liberal,... but it helps.

Knock Knock

Hot 4 days ago

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anthony who!
Anthony you want!

The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Paleoanthropology DivisionSmithsonian Institute207 Pennsylvania AvenueWashington, DC 20078Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. "Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu more...

Knock Knock - Aaron

Hot 1 week ago

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Aaron who?
Aaron on the side of caution! Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aaron who?
Aaron the barber's floor!