Hot Jokes

Knock Knock Who's there! Alpaca! Alpaca who? Alpaca picnic lunch!

Knock Knock - Alpaca

Hot 2 days ago

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Alpaca!
Alpaca who?
Alpaca picnic lunch! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Alpaca!
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase!

A Genie joke

Hot 2 days ago

One day an old jewish pole, living in Warsaw, has his last light bulb
burn out. To get a new one he'll have to stand in line for two hours
at the store (and they'll probably be out by the time he gets there),
so he goes up to his attic and starts rummaging around for an old oil
lamp he vaguely remembers seeing.
He finds the old brass lamp in the bottom of a trunk that has seen
better days. He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in
cloud of smoke.
"Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing
me I will grant you three wishes."
The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan
resurrected. I want him to re-unite his mongol hordes, march to the
Polish border, and then decide he doesn't want the place and march
back home."
"No sooner said than done!" thunders the genie. "Your second wish?"
"Ok. I want Genghis Khan more...

Jinnahs dad

Hot 3 days ago

A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of 6 year olds.
After she explained the Commandment, 'honor thy father and thy mother', she asked, "Boys and girls, is there a Commandment that teaches all of us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without hesitating, Billy stood up and answered, "Thou shalt not kill!"

Everyone is gifted

Hot 1 week ago

Everyone is gifted. Some just open the package sooner.

Turtle Soup

Hot 1 week ago

"Turtle Soup"
Waitress walks up to a man and says,
"Hi, May I take your order please?"
The man replies, "Yes, can I get the turtle soup please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants pea soup instead. He calls for the waitress and says, "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"