Bridge Jokes

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

There once was a magical bridge. A wise man told a blonde, brunette, and a red head that if they ran across it and wished to be any thing it would happen. So the next day all three of them went to the bridge. The red head went first. "I wish I was a dove!" and poof she turned into a dove. Next went the brunette. "I wish I was a dolphin!" and poof she turned into a dolphin. Next came the blonde. She ran as fast as she could and said "I wish I was....she noticed her shoelace was untied and said "CRAP!" and she turned into crap.

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?""Well... are you religious or atheist?""Religious.""Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?""Christian.""Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?""Protestant.""Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?""Baptist.""Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?""Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?""Reformed Baptist Church of God.""Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?""Reformed Baptist Church of God, more...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said,
'OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get one wish.'
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said,
'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?'
The genie laughed and said, 'That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No, think of another wish.'
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said,
'I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I more...