Hawaii Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bridge to Hawaii

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
    The genie said,
    'OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get one wish.'
    The man sat and thought about it for a while and said,
    'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?'
    The genie laughed and said, 'That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No, think of another wish.'
    The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said,
    'I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I more...

    Puzzle

    Hot 4 years ago

    A blonde called her brunette friend and said, "I've been working on this puzzle for weeks, and I can't get it. " The brunette went over to see what was wrong, and she told the blonde, "Put the cornflakes away...." Blonde
    Destination Hawaii "A blonde called in inquiring about a travel package to Hawaii. The agent explained their limited travel range.
    After going over all the agent's information, she asked, "Well, could I fly to California, and THEN take your train to Hawaii?"

    Modem, She Wrote
    Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won't ever connect at 56k.
    Micro-CHiPs
    Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
    Carly's Angels
    Chief exec Carly Fiorina instructs her team of three vixen market analysts on how to prop up HP's sagging stock price.
    Hawaii 6.0
    An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
    T. J. Hacker
    A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
    The Excel Files
    Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
    The AOL-Team
    Each week, AOL, Time Warner, Netscape, and Mr. T unite to promote corporate mergers and make the world safe for capitalism.
    Magnum, PC
    This series about a crime-solving personal computer that more...

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

    In A Right State

    Hot 3 years ago

    Two people are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced 'Havaii' or 'Hawaii'. So they stood there arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask a person that was walking by. They asked the gentleman: "Excuse me sir, is Hawaii pronounced 'Havaii' or 'Hawaii'?"
    The gentleman said, "Havaii."
    So they looked at each other, and as the gentleman was leaving, one of the two said to him, "Thank you."
    The gentleman replied, "You're velcome!"

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