Stuck Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    W-I-F-E

    Hot 6 months ago

    Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
    While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.
    The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...
    Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
    The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know...
    Double Income, No Kids, Yet."
    The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B, you know...
    Rich, Urban, Biker."
    They turn to the woman and ask her,
    " What are you? "
    She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know...
    Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc

    Low Bridge Ahead

    Hot 2 months ago

    A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads' Low Bridge Ahead.'Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, "Looks like you got stuck, huh?"The trucker replies sarcastically, "No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas!"

    This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.

    My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...

    Diary Entries

    Hot 1 year ago

    Diary EntriesAUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. Thehills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow coveringthem. I love it here.OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turnedall the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through thebeautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly theyare the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be paradise. I love ithere.NOV. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting tokill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here.DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed inwhite. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow offthe steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), andwhen the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What abeautiful place. I love Ohio. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trickagain to the more...

    Q: What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney?
    A: Santaclaustrophobia!

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