Riddle Jokes

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

1. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

2. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars more...