Adult Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dirty Rubix Riddle

    Hot 1 week ago

    Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
    A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

    One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
    The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
    The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they slice me up and put me in a salad.
    The Penis says, "You think that your lives are tough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they throw a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a wet, dark, smelly room, and force me to do push-ups until I puke and pass out!

    AIDS or Alzheimer's?

    Hot 1 week ago

    A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
    His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

    The Perfect Penis

    Hot 1 week ago

    A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

    That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."

    The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and called him behind a hedge.

    The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

    The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

    The Indian Chief proclaims,

    "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

    "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request???"

    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

    The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your SECOND request???"

    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

    Silver is brought more...

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