"Sexual Quickes" joke

Hot 2 months ago

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
-----
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
-----
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
-----
One sperm says to the other,' 'How far is it to the ovaries?'' The other one says,' 'Relax. We just passed the tonsils.''
-----
Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
-----
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
-----
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow
-----
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
-----
Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
-----
Man:' 'I'd really like to get into your pants.''
Woman:' 'No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.''
-----
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
-----
HIM:' 'Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?''
HER:' 'Because you're never home when it happens.''
-----

My wife has just found out I've been fucking a Hermaphrodite.
She screamed at me, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Well....."

'go back to africa, go back to india!'
'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

There was a German, an Italian and a Newfie on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die...
1. To be shot
2. To be hung
3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death
The German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he more...

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
Caleb:Keuane a bitch thats wear he left his hairline
0
0
(0)
shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
1
0
(0)
shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
0
1
(0)
kekee:bllluuuuughd!
Funny Joke? 22 vote(s). 91% are positive. 4 comment(s).