"Sexual Quickes" joke

The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
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One sperm says to the other,' 'How far is it to the ovaries?'' The other one says,' 'Relax. We just passed the tonsils.''
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Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
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Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
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Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
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Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
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Man:' 'I'd really like to get into your pants.''
Woman:' 'No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.''
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Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
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HIM:' 'Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?''
HER:' 'Because you're never home when it happens.''
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all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died more...

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Caleb:Keuane a bitch thats wear he left his hairline
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shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
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shots fired:yo mama's teeth are so yellow when she smiles on the streets the car start to slow down
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kekee:bllluuuuughd!
Funny Joke? 22 vote(s). 91% are positive. 4 comment(s).