Difference Jokes

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're more...

Q: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
A: Snowballs!

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?
A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the difference between you and your paycheck?
A. Your wife will blow your check.
Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
A. They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the more...

Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender: "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. Santa takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch.
Again, same reaction from Santa. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. Santa takes a sip and is most satisfied.
All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says:
"hey mishter, tashte this!"
Santa obliges...he promptly spits it out.
"It tastes like piss," Santa shoots back at the more...

What is the difference between O.J. Simpson and the Lion King?
One's an African Lion and the other is a Lying African,