"A few Q and As" joke

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?
A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the difference between you and your paycheck?
A. Your wife will blow your check.
Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
A. They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist beach?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
A. A pick-pocket snatches watches.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.
Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as a substitute for meat.
Q. What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A. One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year.
Q. What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't?
A. A bellybutton.
Q. Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A. Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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Dodo: Teacher, I Can't Solve This Problem. Teacher: Any Five Year Old Should Be Able To Solve This One. Dodo: No Wonder I Can't Do It Then, I'm Nearly Ten!

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PewDiePie:This joke makes no sense. I'm a feminist and I'm deeply offended by this sexist and racist joke
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PewDiePie:This joke makes no sense. I'm a feminist and I'm deeply offended by this sexist and racist joke
Funny Joke? 34 vote(s). 74% are positive. 10 comment(s).