"A few Q and As" joke

Hot 1 month ago

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?
A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the difference between you and your paycheck?
A. Your wife will blow your check.
Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
A. They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist beach?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
A. A pick-pocket snatches watches.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.
Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as a substitute for meat.
Q. What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A. One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year.
Q. What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't?
A. A bellybutton.
Q. Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A. Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

Sitting nan in the naughty corner because she started a fight at bingo

- ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo
- Nan please, we're at granddad's funeral

- They see me rollin', they hatin'...
- nan get out of the trolley

It is recounted that at King's College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year's rounds by teaching "a singularly important principle of medicine."
He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then more...

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