Nudist Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A few Q and As

    Hot 4 months ago

    Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
    A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
    Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?
    A. Money
    Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
    A. After five years your job will still suck.
    Q. What's the difference between you and your paycheck?
    A. Your wife will blow your check.
    Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
    A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
    Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
    A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
    Q. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
    A. They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
    Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
    A. It's not hard.
    Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?
    A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
    Q. Who is the more...

    The Nudist Colony

    Hot 1 day ago

    Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.
    The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
    Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a more...

    Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.

    A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
    Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends her the bottom half.
    He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
    A few weeks later, he receives a letter from this grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... it makes your nose look too short."

    A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives is a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
    Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but them remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
    A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"

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