Rule Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Iowa 3-Kick Rule

    Hot 1 year ago

    A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The attorney responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here. "The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U. S.; and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. " The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this with the Iowa Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is this three-kick Rule? "The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until more...

    The Duck

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going into retrieve it."
    The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything! The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule."
    The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The more...

    Stupid White guy

    Hot 3 years ago

    There's three men,
    one singhala, one tamil, and one stupid white guy,
    looking for the famous genie in the lamp.
    Somewhere they find this lamp.
    Upon rubbing it,
    the genie comes out and grants the three men,
    three wishes--one for each.
    Since we all know white people rule the world,
    the genie first asked the stupid white guy
    for his wish.
    Whitey thought and thought and thought
    and finally said, "Let the other two go first."
    Since white people rule the world, the genie obeyed.
    Since S come before T,
    he asked the Singala guy for his wish.
    "I want one of the stupidest wars in history
    to stop," said the singhala guy.
    The Genie replied, "Wish granted."
    And so it was.
    The singhala guy was wisked back home, happy.
    Then the genie asked the tamil guy for his wish.
    "I want the war in Lankava to end,"
    the tamil guy said.
    "The other guy more...

    Government Workers

    Hot 4 years ago

    Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker.
    To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do your stuff!". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
    Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff!". Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
    Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff!". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
    Everyone more...

    Gardening Rule:

    Hot 4 years ago

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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