Never Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    FIRST TESTIMONY:
    I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
    asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
    turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
    say a word...
    he knew better.
    SECOND TESTIMONY:
    I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
    unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
    several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
    at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked
    at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
    THIRD TESTIMONY:
    My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
    variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
    boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
    looking at your nuts." My sister started to more...

    My wife says I never listen

    Hot 11 months ago

    My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

    A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
    A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
    A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
    "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you more...

    A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married." "Why not?" giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

    IN America's dozen Ivy League Universities, on top of the list come Yale and Harvard or perhaps Harvard followed by Yale. By and large America does not have an upper class accent distinct from that of commoners as is heard in England. The only exception is Harvard which has imbibed some of Boston's
    Brahmanical air of superiority by its distinct upper class speech.

    This one is told of a freshman who asked a senior student: "Can you tell me where the library is at?"

    The senior snubbed him, "At Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."

    The freshman had a second go: "Can you tell me where the library is at, you asshole?"

  • Recent Activity