Man Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bad Mistake, A

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
    Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
    "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. "We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. "I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
    "What did you do?" asks the doctor.
    "Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,' Hey, this looks like yours!'"

    Bragging golfers

    Hot 1 year ago

    Four men went to play golf.
    Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
    The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.

    The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"

    The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

    The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock and bond portfolio."

    The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

    The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

    The fourth man replied, "Well, my son more...

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    A guy in an elevator

    Hot 1 year ago

    A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
    He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
    He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me."
    She looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204."

    3 Kinds of Bras

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said.' I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man' There is more than one type?'

    'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

    Confused, the man asked what were the types.

    The saleslady replied' The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

    Still confused the man asked' What is the difference between them?'

    The lady responded' It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out more...

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