"Bad Mistake, A" joke
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. "We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. "I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,' Hey, this looks like yours!'"
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.