Car Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Gullible cop

    Hot 8 months agoby TJ

    A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
    Cop: May I see your driver's license?

    Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Cop: May I see the owner's card for the vehicle?

    Driver: It's not my vehicle. I stole it.

    Cop: Are you telling me this is a stolen car?

    Driver: That's right. Mind you, now that I think of it, I believe I did see the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Cop: There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver: Yep. I put it there after I shot and killed the whoman who owns this car. Then I stuffed her in the trunk.

    Cop: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?

    Driver: Yes, sir.

    When the cop heard this, he immediately called his captain. Within minutes, the car was surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver so he could handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, may more...

    Blonde joke

    Hot 8 months agoby
    redbull35

    How do you know how a blonde has been using a car?
    theresa condom on the stick shift

    Really Good Deed

    Hot 8 months ago

    This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book. He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in." The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of' em torturing this chick. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to more...

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

    nan car joke

    Hot 6 months agoby lily

    nan- why is there some retard sunbathing in the road
    me- nan, he's been hit by a car...

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