Police Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    My wife

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    My wife and I are inseparable.

    The other night it took six policemen and two dogs to pull us apart

    Domestic

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    The police were called to our house after a violent domestic dispute.
    My wife completely lost her head. I was lucky and just had cuts and bruises.

    kidnapping

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van.
    But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.

    The Three Boys

    Hot 1 year ago

    There once lived three boys. They had really weird names. The first was named Nobody, the second was named Shut Up, and the third was named Manners.
    One day, the boy named Nobody fell into the river. Shut Up and Manners went to the police station.
    On the way to the police station, Manners needed to go to the toilet, so Shut Up went alone.
    Shut Up said"Nobody fell into the river! Nobody fell into the river!"
    The policeman asked curiously"Why are you here then?
    Shut Up said"Never mind then."
    The policeman asked Shut Up"What is your name?" Shut Up replied"Shut Up!" The policeman questioned Shut Up"Where are your manners?" Shut Up responded,"In the toilet!"

    Scouse Eggs

    Hot 1 year ago

    2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
    He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
    "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
    They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester more...

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