Police Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    My wife

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    My wife and I are inseparable.

    The other night it took six policemen and two dogs to pull us apart

    Domestic

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    The police were called to our house after a violent domestic dispute.
    My wife completely lost her head. I was lucky and just had cuts and bruises.

    kidnapping

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van.
    But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.

    The Three Boys

    Hot 1 year ago

    There once lived three boys. They had really weird names. The first was named Nobody, the second was named Shut Up, and the third was named Manners.
    One day, the boy named Nobody fell into the river. Shut Up and Manners went to the police station.
    On the way to the police station, Manners needed to go to the toilet, so Shut Up went alone.
    Shut Up said"Nobody fell into the river! Nobody fell into the river!"
    The policeman asked curiously"Why are you here then?
    Shut Up said"Never mind then."
    The policeman asked Shut Up"What is your name?" Shut Up replied"Shut Up!" The policeman questioned Shut Up"Where are your manners?" Shut Up responded,"In the toilet!"

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

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