Men Jokes

Long, but pretty good: On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred. .. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The two more...

Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He''s so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he''s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock and bond portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son more...

Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?
A: Because men keep telling them that this...

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... is 12 inches.

4 college students moved an apartment with 2 bedrooms. Their names were Kevin, Paul, Jordan, and Kyle. The first 3 quickly found out Kyle had a terrible snoring problem. Nobody wanted to room with him. They agreed to take turns. The first night was Kevin's turn. The next morning, Kevin walks out into the living room, with glazed eyes and a zombie like shuffle. Paul and Jordan ask "what happened?" Kevin says "Well he was snoring so loud that I couldn't fall asleep at all, so I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night, Paul rooms with Kyle. The next morning, his eyes are bloodshot and his hair is a wild mess. He says "Kyle was snoring so loud last night, that instead of sleeping I sat up and stared at him all night." Night 3 is Jordan's turn. Jordan is an ex-football player weighing about 250 pounds. The next morning, he walks into the living room with bright eyes and a spring in his step. Paul and Kevin, obviously surprised, ask him how the more...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.