"Sex Laws" joke
Most Middle Eastern countries recognise the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
In Cali, Columbia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them more...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...
There was a German, an Italian and a Newfie on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die...
1. To be shot
2. To be hung
3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death
The German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he more...
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have more...