"The snoring roommate" joke
4 college students moved an apartment with 2 bedrooms. Their names were Kevin, Paul, Jordan, and Kyle. The first 3 quickly found out Kyle had a terrible snoring problem. Nobody wanted to room with him. They agreed to take turns. The first night was Kevin's turn. The next morning, Kevin walks out into the living room, with glazed eyes and a zombie like shuffle. Paul and Jordan ask "what happened?" Kevin says "Well he was snoring so loud that I couldn't fall asleep at all, so I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night, Paul rooms with Kyle. The next morning, his eyes are bloodshot and his hair is a wild mess. He says "Kyle was snoring so loud last night, that instead of sleeping I sat up and stared at him all night." Night 3 is Jordan's turn. Jordan is an ex-football player weighing about 250 pounds. The next morning, he walks into the living room with bright eyes and a spring in his step. Paul and Kevin, obviously surprised, ask him how the last night went. Jordan says "Well before I went to sleep I tucked Kyle in and kissed him goodnight, and instead of sleeping he sat up and watched me all night.
An older woman is in the grocery store checkout when she takes notice of the bag-boy and begins to get turned on.
She pays for the groceries and as she’s walking out behind the bag-boy she makes her plan to seduce him.
Outside the door she leans over and whispers in more...
You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey be very careful when you drive the ball-don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.