Good Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
    A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
    The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
    The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
    The manager was more...

    Good Looks

    Hot 1 year ago

    No matter how good she looks,
    some other guy is sick and tired
    of putting up with her shit.

    Really Good Deed

    Hot 1 year ago

    This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book. He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in." The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of' em torturing this chick. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to more...

    Who'll get the job??

    Hot 1 year ago

    4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.
    The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here's your question," said the President, "What's the fastest thing in the world?"
    Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all."
    "Very good answer," said the President.
    Next up was the Gujrati, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
    "A blink," replied the Texan almost instantaneously, "cos you don't think about a blink. It's a reflex."
    "Good answer," replied the president.
    Next was the Bengali, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the more...

    After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
    The Pope says, ''What can I do?''
    The Colonel says, ''I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.''
    The Pope replies, ''I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words.''
    So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.
    ''Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'''
    And the Pope responds, ''It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the more...

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