"A Local Business was Looking For Office Help..." joke

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

193
52

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

5
0

Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!

24
9

A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

6
0

Mr. Spears announced he will write an autobiography so people will have a better understanding of who he is. Federline will write the book as part of a Learning Annex class he's taking called, "Autobiography Writing For Talentless Douchebags With Nothing To Say."

1
1
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
notsaying:That's the type of joke you'd hear in 3rd grade and thinnk it was the funniest thing on Earth, then you grow up and realize the joke was not funny in the slghtest.
1
0
(0)
Santa's little elf :i thought it was this way there was a chinese guy who know no english so he was walking down the street and he pass a chorus place and the were saying me me me then he passed a cooking school and they were saying forks and knives forks and knives the he passed the tv shop and they were saying plug it in plug it in so the cop was at the crime and the chinese man walked by and the cop said who did it he said me me me me and the cop sad what did you do it with he said fork and knives forks and knives and the cop said any last words before the electric chair and the man said plug it in plug it in. but your got the gist of it if the comments like this one more the the other type to good in the comment box
0
0
(0)
Ag-Ath:it's okay for us to call out in Gods name because it doesn't offend us or send us to Hell.
0
0
(0)
Isaiah Hersh:TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
0
0
(0)
Isaiah Hersh:TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
0
0
(0)
Isaiah Hersh:TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Funny Joke? 63 vote(s). 84% are positive. 6 comment(s).