"Problem solving quotes" joke
1. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
2. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself,' Where the heck is the ceiling?!'
12. My Reality Check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
14. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
16. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,' cuz, like, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
17. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”
Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”
With a questioned look on more...
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them more...
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...