Always Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Smuggling

    Hot 6 months ago

    Submitted by Darcy

    Twice a week a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border and he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.

    Each time the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.

    Sometimes they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.

    They racked their brains but never found anything untoward.

    It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene, that they learned the truth.

    He had been smuggling bicycles.

    WOW BALGOBIN....

    Hot 6 months ago

    TEACHER: Why are you late?
    BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
    TEACHER: What sign?
    BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
    TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
    BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
    BALGOBIN: Here it is!
    TEACHER: more...

    Sven and Olie

    Hot 1 year ago

    Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
    Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
    The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't more...

    Fairy tales

    Hot 1 year ago

    "Mummy, mummy, why do fairy tales always start with 'Once upon a time'?"
    "They don't always, little one... Your dad begins his with:
    "'... I got caught up in the office. You wont beleive what happened...'!"

    All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
    If being chased through town, you can usually take cover
    in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the
    year.
    All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach
    up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level
    on the man lying beside her.
    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick
    of French Bread.
    It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
    someone in the control tower to talk you down.
    Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while
    scuba diving.
    The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
    hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in
    there and you can travel to any other part of the building
    you want without difficulty.
    If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
    ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
    You're very likely to survive any more...

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