A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:
"Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter:
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter back:
"Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
What starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "GOD, USA", hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95."
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA,
they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a
thank you note to God, which read:
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for
some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual,
those crooks deducted $95.00."
In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory. That is
reserved for the pastor and his housekeeper.
One day the pastor invited his new young assistant pastor to have dinner at the
rectory. While being served, the young pastor noticed how shapely and lovely the
housekeeper was and he wondered...
After the meal was over, the middle-aged pastor assured the young priest that
everything was purely professional and that she was the housekeeper and cook and
that was that.
About a week later the housekeeper came to the pastor and said, "Father, ever
since the new assistant came for dinner, I have not been able to find the
beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it, do you?"
The pastor said, "Well, I doubt it but I'll write him a letter." So he wrote,
"Dear Father, I'm not saying that you did take the gravy ladle and I'm not
saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact more...