Later Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

    The Indian Chief proclaims,

    "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

    "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request???"

    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

    The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your SECOND request???"

    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

    Silver is brought more...

    A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
    A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
    A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
    "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you more...

    The Shoe

    Hot 1 year ago

    One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife.
    Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window.
    They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?"

    Confessional

    Hot 1 year ago

    A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
    The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
    The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned.'
    The priest asks, 'What did you do?'
    The woman says, 'I committed adultery.'
    The priest says, 'How many times?'
    And the woman replies, 'Three.'
    Priest: 'Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.'
    A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
    'What did you do?'
    ‘I committed adultery.'
    'How many times?'
    'Three times.'
    The priest says, 'Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more...

    Once there was a farmer who sired four daughters. After they reached
    puberty, he fretted for their virtue and always answered the door with a
    loaded shotgun in his hands.
    One night he answered a knock at the door to find a young man standing at
    his threshold. The young man said:
    "My name is Freddie
    I've come to pick up Betty.
    We're going out for spaghetti.
    I hope she's ready."
    The farmer thought the lad's introduction intelligent and witty, so he let
    his daughter go out with the fellow.
    A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Upon answering, the farmer
    encountered a second youth who said:
    "My name's Vance.
    I've come for Nance.
    We're going to a dance.
    Is she ready by chance?"
    Again the farmer though the introduction and the young lad to be
    acceptible, so he allowed his second daughter to go out.
    Within a short time, a third knock was heard and yet another young man
    was standing on more...

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