Year Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Perfect Penis

    Hot 10 months ago

    A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

    That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."

    The next day the second five year old boy met the first five year old boy and called him behind a hedge.

    The boy exposed himself and said, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

    Email and Internet

    Hot 9 months ago

    An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
    The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."
    Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address or internet access you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."
    Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a more...

    Doctors V. Gun Owners

    Hot 9 months ago

    Number of physicians in the US = 700,000
    Accidental deaths caused by physicians/year =120,000.
    Accidental deaths/physician = 0.171
    Number of gun owners in US = 80,000,000
    Number of accidental gun deaths/year = 1500
    Accidental deaths/gun owner =.0000188
    Conclusion - Doctors are approximately 9000 times more
    dangerous than gun owners!

    Coming out of the closet

    Hot 9 months ago

    In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.

    "Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.

    The Dad was furious he couldn't believe that one of his sons was gay.

    A year had passed and his second son approached him and told a very bad secret.

    "Dad, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm gay."

    The Dad went crazy again, he couldn't believe that two out of three sons were gays.

    Another year had passed and the third son came forward. "Dad I know you're not going to want to hear this but, I'm gay.

    The Dad was enraged he started shouting "DOESN'T ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY LIKE GIRLS ANYMORE?!!"

    The daughter said, "I do, I do!"

    At The Stock Show

    Hot 8 months ago

    A man and his wife go to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that has the bulls. They come to the first bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
    They then proceed to the next bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 68 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This bull mated 68 times last year. That works out to over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one, too."
    Finally, they proceed to the last bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and she says, "WOW! This one mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY. Boy, you could really learn from this one."
    The man turns to his wife and calmly says, "Why don't you go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

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