Received Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Coded Message

    Hot 1 month ago

    One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.
    The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.
    The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.
    The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down.

    Johnnie's request

    Hot 5 years ago

    Johnnie wanted $100 to buy a remote control car, so he prayed like crazy for two weeks... but nothing happened.
    Johnnie decided to write God an urgent letter, requesting $100. When the post office received the letter addressed to God, USA, they forwarded the letter to the president.
    The president was so amused by the letter that he told his secretary to send Johnnie a $5 bill, figuring this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
    When Johnnie received the cash, he was so delighted that he wrote a thank you note which read:
    Dear God:
    Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through Washington, D.C. Next time, don't do that because, as usual, those jerks took 95%.
    Love,
    Johnnie

    A Japanese soap manufacturing company received a complaint that a consumer
    had bought a box of soap that was empty. Management tasked its engineers
    to solve the problem permanently to avoid any reoccurrence.
    The engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution
    monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed
    through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked
    hard and they worked fast.
    But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with
    another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed
    it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox
    passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

    Tomato Garden

    Hot 1 year ago

    An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. He
    wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was a lot of
    work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent,
    who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote
    a letter to his son and described his predicament.
    Dear Vincent,
    I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I
    won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm
    just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I
    know if you were here my troubles would be over. I
    know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
    Love, Dad
    A few days later he received a letter from his son.
    Dear Dad,
    Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the
    bodies.
    Love, Vinnie
    At 4 a. m. the next morning, FBI agents and local
    police arrived and dug up the entire area without
    finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and
    left.
    That same day the old man received another letter more...

    Loan application

    Hot 4 years ago

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
    The title to the property dated back
    to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
    After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
    "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
    "Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
    that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...

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