"Answer from Heaven" joke
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "GOD, USA", hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95."
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says.
"Your eyes are awfully glazed - have you been eating doughnuts?"
A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at his local zoo when along came a gust of wind which swept some dust into his eye. The guy rubbed his eyelid which sent the gorilla crazy. He bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy finally came to his more...
A man walks up to a bartender one night and asked for a beer.
"Certainly, sir. That'd be one cent."
The guy was surprised at the incredible price.
The guy, unable to believe such prices, looked up the menu and ordered a nice juicy T-bone steak with chips, more...
A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:"Ok.I'll let him pass, there's no hurry. Two minutes lateranother whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, buttwo minutes later when the next one got there, pizza more...