Dinner Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    French Happiness

    Hot 2 weeks ago

    When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the American ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle.
    "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
    "A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.
    A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...and no one knew what to say next.
    Finally, Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said,
    "Ma cherie, I believe zee Americans pronounce zat word, 'appiness."

    Special Family

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    A
    guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
    wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
    in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
    he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
    sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
    to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
    it with the owner.
    "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
    gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
    "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
    simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
    and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
    It protects it from the rain. In
    fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
    tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
    and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
    The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
    He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
    ecstatic (being a Harley more...

    Stitches

    Hot 5 days agoby justincider

    I had the wife in stitches last night.

    That'll teach her to overcook my steak.

    The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so
    hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasn't
    drinking milk.
    - Dave George

    4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.
    The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here's your question," said the President, "What's the fastest thing in the world?"
    Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all."
    "Very good answer," said the President.
    Next up was the Gujrati, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
    "A blink," replied the Texan almost instantaneously, "cos you don't think about a blink. It's a reflex."
    "Good answer," replied the president.
    Next was the Bengali, "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the more...

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