A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give it a shot, Father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat.
The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
what the fish is called: - a sonofabitch."
Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
stops the Bishop.
Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this is a house of God."
Priest: "No, you don't understand! That's what the fish is
called and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Hmmm, you know I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."
So the Bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and takes it to the head mother.
Bishop: "Could you cook this sonofabitch for dinner tonight?"
Head Mother: "My lord, what langauge!"
Bishop: "No, Sister, that's what this fish is called,
a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we want you to cook it."
Head Mother: "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."
That night the Pope stops by for dinner. He thinks the fish is great and asks where they got it.
Priest: "I caught the sonofabitch."
Bishop: "And I cleaned the sonofabitch."
Head Mother: "And I cooked the sonofabitch."
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, takes off his hat, leans back in his chair, puts his feet up on thetable and says, "You know, you fuckers are alright!"
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied:' I have just the rooster for you. Ricky more...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...
I was really angry when my mates got me an anal vibrator for my birthday.
I hated them for it, but now, I've put it behind me.....
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.