A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give it a shot, Father."
After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat.
The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
what the fish is called: - a sonofabitch."
Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
stops the Bishop.
Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this is a house of God."
Priest: "No, you don't understand! That's what the fish is
called and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"
Bishop: "Hmmm, you know I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."
So the Bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and takes it to the head mother.
Bishop: "Could you cook this sonofabitch for dinner tonight?"
Head Mother: "My lord, what langauge!"
Bishop: "No, Sister, that's what this fish is called,
a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we want you to cook it."
Head Mother: "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."
That night the Pope stops by for dinner. He thinks the fish is great and asks where they got it.
Priest: "I caught the sonofabitch."
Bishop: "And I cleaned the sonofabitch."
Head Mother: "And I cooked the sonofabitch."
The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, takes off his hat, leans back in his chair, puts his feet up on thetable and says, "You know, you fuckers are alright!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question more...
The final word on nutrition and health.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...