Bishop Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Sonofabitch

    Hot 1 year ago

    A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
    The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
    which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give it a shot, Father."
    After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat.
    The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
    Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
    Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
    what the fish is called: - a sonofabitch."
    Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
    After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
    stops the Bishop.
    Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
    Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this more...

    Tea

    Hot 1 year ago

    A female parishioner was drinking here regular coffee in her local coffee shop when she remembered that the bishop of her church was coming over for a cup of tea to talk about religion.
    Knowing she didn't have any sugar in her house and that the bishop would be at her house in 10 minutes, she bought sugar cube with the change she had from her

    Ring Those Bells

    Hot 6 years ago

    A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
    The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's more...

    At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the Bishop presiding noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but he didn't have time to inquire before the Mass began.
    When it came time for the announcements, the Bishop's curiosity got the better of him. He welcomed the two Rabbis and asked why they had chosen to be present at this occasion where the young ladies were to become the "Brides of Christ".
    The elder of the Rabbis slowly rose to his feet and explained, "Family of the Groom."

    The parsons

    Hot 3 years ago

    A Bishop invited his three sons home for a midwinter get-together.
    On the cold first morning of their stay, he stood warming himself at a roaring log fire as the first son, a Parson, appeared from bed.
    "Good morning father", said he.
    "Good morning, son replied the Bishop,'Did you sleep well?".
    "Wonderful sleep, I dreamt I was in heaven".
    "Great!, Come and stand by the fire" said the Bishop.
    "Good morning, son, did you sleep well?."
    He asked his second son, also a Parson.
    "Marvelous, I dreamt I was an angel!". And he went to stand in front of the fire. The third, a commercial traveller appeared.
    "Good morning" said the Bishop, not so eagerly, "How was your night?.
    "I dreamt I was in Hell" said he, And it was just like home- you couldn't get near the fire for Parsons".

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