Race Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Race

    Hot 1 year ago

    There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

    After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.

    Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

    When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

    If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

    The Race

    Hot 7 years ago

    There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap.They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here's how the conversation went:Police Officer #1: "What's your name?"Shutup: "Shutup."Police Officer #2: "Where's your manners?"Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!"

    I don't mind the rat race

    Hot 11 months ago

    I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

    Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"
    Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
    "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail.
    At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," Says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
    The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

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