Enter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Computer password

    Hot 1 year ago

    A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,
    and at the appropriate point in the process, told him
    that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
    The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured
    he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his
    wife's attention.
    So, when the computer asked him to enter his
    password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that
    he was keying in
    "penis"
    His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer
    replied:
    PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

    A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist pastor, along with their wives, were on a cruise. Suddenly a tidal wave came out of nowhere, swamped the ship and they all drowned. The next thing they knew, they were standing before St. Peter.
    Shaking his head, St. Peter first looked at the Presbyterian and his wife and said, "You cannot enter for you loved money too much. So much so, that you married a woman named Penny."
    St. Peter then turned to the Methodist and said, "I'm sorry for you cannot enter either. You loved food far too much. So much so that you married a woman named Candy."
    Hearing this, the Baptist nervously turned to his wife and whispered, "It doesn't look good, Fanny."

    Calculator Joke

    Hot 1 year ago

    Enter this old elementary school story onto your calculator fun a cheap laugh - the numbers or signs that you should enter are in quotes.
    Once upon a time, there was an old lady who was "69" years old. She had always thought that her boobs were "222" (too too too) big. So she went to "51" (fifty-first) street to see Doctor "X" "8" times. When she came back, she was...*turn calculator upside-down and read*

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. more...

    The Pearly Gates

    Hot 6 years ago

    A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this more...

  • Recent Activity