Racing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Women drivers

    Hot 6 years agoby Jim Bainbridge

    You'll never see a woman driving in Formula 1. It's not the Racing thats the problem, it's parking when they come into the pits.

    Fast fun

    Hot 3 years ago

    (Heard on radio station CHNS, Halifax.)
    There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and
    was always trying out new things. One day he thought
    he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it
    became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned
    an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper
    of his car to test his theory. His friend said,
    "Sure."
    So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car
    and said to his friend:
    "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go
    faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and
    repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty
    well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well
    over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling
    the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black
    Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it
    the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about more...

    Car Acronyms

    Hot 4 years ago

    ACURA
    Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
    Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
    AMC
    All Makes Combined
    A Major Cost
    A Mutated Car
    A Morons Car
    Another Major Catastrophe
    AUDI
    Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Automobile Under Demonic Influence
    Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
    Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
    Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
    BMW
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Break My Windshield
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Barely Moving Wreck
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money. Why?
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Breaks Most Wrenches
    Bring More Wrenches
    Brings Me Women
    Brings More Women
    Broken Money Waster
    Broke My Wallet
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Bumbling Mechanical more...

    Speeding!!!

    Hot 5 years ago

    Banta was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Maruti, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory.
    His friend said, "Sure."
    So Banta tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend, "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 kmph. Banta was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Honda came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Maruti forgot all about Banta and his bicycle and took to drag racing the Honda.
    A little further down the road sat Officer Santa in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars more...

    Power of the Press

    Hot 5 years ago

    A preacher wanted to raise money for his church,
    and being told there was a fortune in horse
    racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter
    it in the races. However, at the local auction,
    the going price for horses was so high that the
    preacher settled on a donkey instead. The preacher
    figured, since he bought the animal, he might as
    well race it. To his great surprise, the donkey
    did quite well and came in third place. The next
    day, the racing sheets carried this headline: Preacher Shows AssThe preacher was so pleased with the donkey that
    he entered it in the races again, and this time
    the animal won first place. The paper said: Preacher's Ass Out In FrontThe Bishop was so upset with this kind of
    publicity that he ordered the preacher not to
    enter the donkey in any more races. The newspaper
    printed this headline: Bishop Scratches Preacher's AssThis was too much for the Bishop and he ordered
    the preacher to get rid of the more...

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