Bell Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    TACO HELL!!!!

    Hot 2 years ago

    by Peter Leppik

    The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.

    On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of
    the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me.

    Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."

    Server: "Is that it?"

    Me: "Yep."

    Server: "That'll be $1. 04, eat here?"

    Me: "No, it's "TO-GO" [I hate effort duplication]."

    At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and

    Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right more...

    Plan It ........... But

    Hot 2 years ago

    A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
    resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
    die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
    become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
    His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
    graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
    caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
    then got the body and put it in a casket.
    Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
    returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
    casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
    Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
    with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
    leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
    She would slip into the coffin more...

    Dead Ringer

    Hot 4 years ago

    The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell.
    Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door.
    The priest opens the door and sees that the man has no arms.
    The priest asks him, "How can you ring the bell?"
    The man said, "Let me show you."
    So they went up to the top of the bell tower and the man started hitting the bell with his head.
    The bell starts to swaying and the man misses, and then he goes flying through the window.
    Two more priests come running and ask, "What happened? Who was that?"
    The second priest said, "I don't know but that face sure rings a bell!"

    Naughty Priest Hood

    Hot 7 years ago

    There are five men who are studying to become priests.
    They have gone through 1 year of training and are ready for their finnal exam.
    For the final exam the head priest decides that the students would have to stand in a field with a bell atached to their penis while a naked lady pranced in front of them.
    the first four priest pass fine, but the fith one got an erection so fast and so big that the bell broke off.
    Embaressed he bent down to pick up the broken bell and suddenly 4 other bells could be heard ringing.

    Ring Those Bells

    Hot 7 years ago

    A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
    The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's more...

  • Recent Activity