"Plan It ........... But" joke
A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
then got the body and put it in a casket.
Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker
was filling out the death certificate. When the care- taker returned,
he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison
with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then
bury the coffin.
The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until
later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard
under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her
The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he
and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it. The woman waited several weeks before some- one in the prison died.
She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She
got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the
hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was
She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept.
Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead
body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut
to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.
Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails.
Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead
body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to
The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the
graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground.
She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave
with a thud.
Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden
coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would
be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh.
She was free! She was free!
Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the
identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she
she was lying next to the dead caretaker.
Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes
it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...