Fire Jokes

My mates taking part in a spontaneous combustion contest.
I think he'll win, he's on fire at the moment.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,' 'I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears,' 'Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says,' 'Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

As a drunk guy staggers out of the pussy club one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.
In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s the wayyou want it, you can keep your fucking ice creams!”

What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool?
A blonde trying to put it out.

Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.