Department Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    3 Kinds of Bras

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said.' I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man' There is more than one type?'

    'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

    Confused, the man asked what were the types.

    The saleslady replied' The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

    Still confused the man asked' What is the difference between them?'

    The lady responded' It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out more...

    A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
    The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the look of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
    The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came.
    The boss duly appeared and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
    "One", said the young salesman. "Only one!" blurted the boss. Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
    "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars" said the young man. The boss was completely surprised. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabber-gasted boss.
    "Well", said the salesman, "this man came more...

    Politcal Mule

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the pastor to the health department.

    They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor.

    Now the pastor knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the pastor called him anyway.

    The mayor did not disappoint him. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?"

    The pastor paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. Then, he replied "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!"

    SEEING-RED TAPE

    Hot 5 years ago

    A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first.

    Murder at Woolworths

    Hot 4 years ago

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
    A' friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of' Artie.'
    Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5, 000.
    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
    Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworths store. There, he surprised her in the produce department more...

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