Taco Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    FIRST TESTIMONY:
    I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
    asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
    turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
    say a word...
    he knew better.
    SECOND TESTIMONY:
    I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
    unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
    several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
    at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked
    at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
    THIRD TESTIMONY:
    My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
    variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
    boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
    looking at your nuts." My sister started to more...

    TACO HELL!!!!

    Hot 6 months ago

    by Peter Leppik

    The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.

    On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of
    the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me.

    Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."

    Server: "Is that it?"

    Me: "Yep."

    Server: "That'll be $1. 04, eat here?"

    Me: "No, it's "TO-GO" [I hate effort duplication]."

    At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and

    Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right more...

    Whats that smell?

    Hot 2 years ago

    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Johnny a three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was with him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying her taco, the mother smelled something funny, so of course she checked her seven-month-old daughter and she was clean. Then Mom realized that Johnny had not asked to go potty in a while, so she asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." She kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then she said, "Johnny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. she just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! she asked one more time, "Johnny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his more...

    Ok there is a blonde, a mexican, and an irish. THey all goto work and get their lunches. The mexican gets a taco, and says if he gets another taco again he will kill him self. The irish guy says if i get cabbage again ill kill my self. The blonde guy says if i get balony again ill kill my self too.
    The next day they get their lunches. The mexican gets the taco, the irish guy gets cabbage, and the blonde gets balony. They all kill themselves that day.
    The day of their funeral their wives are all sad. The mexican wife says " if i knew that my husband didnt want tacos i would have gave him something else." The irish wife says " If i knew my husband didnt like cabbage i would have gave him something else." The blonde wife says, "Hey dont look at me he packed his own lunch."

    Here are six reasons why you should think before you
    speak the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
    FIRST TESTIMONY:
    I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
    SECOND TESTIMONY:
    I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
    THIRD TESTIMONY:
    My sister and I were at the mall and passed more...

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