Doberman Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The big dog fight

    Hot 3 months ago

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
    One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
    The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
    Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

    Whose Dog

    Hot 2 months ago

    A highly timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
    A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
    "Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
    "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
    "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
    "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
    "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir"

    Puppy Love

    Hot 1 month ago

    The taco Bell chihuahua dog, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar. A female collie then walks in. The collie says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creativly, can have me. So the bulldog goes ''I love liver and cheese'' The collie says ''Not good enough'' The doberman says ''I hate liver and cheese'' The collie goes, ''Not creative enough'' Then the chihuahua dog says, ''Liver alone, cheese mine.''

    A guy sits in a bar when the barkeeper starts talking about his dog, "My dog is
    the most vicious killing machine in the area. If I had not tied it by a huge
    chain, it would kill other dogs or children all the time."
    And really the guy can see a doberman snarling in the corner tied by a huge
    chain. The guy looks up and says, "I bet you a beer that my dog that is tied up
    outside the pub has no problem killing your dog."
    "Oh really?" answers the bar keeper, "what breed of dog do you have?"
    "A long nosed, short legged, long tailed terrier," answers the guy.
    "Alright," replies the bar keeper and releases his doberman. The doberman runs
    outside. Soon afterwards the tattered remains of the dog limps back, bleeding,
    all over covered with wounds, and dies at the barkeeper's feet. The bar keeper
    cannot understand what was going on.
    "That must be a hell hound you have outside. What more...

    A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
    A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "That'd be my dog. Why?"
    "Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
    "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What kind of dog do you have?"
    "Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old puppy."
    "How could your puppy kill my Doberman?" roared the biker.
    "It appears that he choked on it, sir."

  • Recent Activity