Dark Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Plan It ........... But

    Hot 2 years ago

    A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and
    resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather
    die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had
    become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.
    His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a
    graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the
    caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker
    then got the body and put it in a casket.
    Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before
    returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the
    casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
    Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it
    with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would
    leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
    kept.
    She would slip into the coffin more...

    Deep Dark Secrets

    Hot 5 years ago

    At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
    The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
    The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"

    'Twas The Night Before Christmas,
    He Lived All Alone,
    In A One Bedroom House Made Of
    Plaster And Stone.
    I Had Come Down The Chimney
    With Presents To Give,
    And To See Just Who
    In This Home Did Live.
    I Looked All About,
    A Strange Sight I Did See,
    No Tinsel, No Presents,
    Not Even A Tree.
    No Stocking By Mantle,
    Just Boots Filled With Sand,
    And On The Wall Pictures
    Of Far Distant Lands.
    ith Medals And Badges,
    Awards Of All Kinds,
    A Sobering Thought
    Came To My Mind.
    For This House Was Different,
    So Dark And So Dreary,
    The Home Of A Warrior,
    Now I Could See Clearly.
    The Warrior Lay Sleeping,
    Silent, Alone,
    Curled Up On The Floor
    In This One Bedroom Home.
    The Face Was So Gentle,
    The Room In Such Disorder,
    Not How I Pictured
    A United States warrior.
    Was This The Hero
    Of Whom I'd Just Read?
    Curled Up On A Poncho,
    The Floor more...

    Afraid of the Dark

    Hot 5 years ago

    A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
    The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
    The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."
    The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
    "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.
    The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

    Afraid of the Dark

    Hot 2 years ago

    A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark.”The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don't have to be afraid of the
    dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you.”The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he's out there?”“Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you're out
    there, would you please hand me the broom?”

  • Recent Activity