Dogs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    My wife

    Hot 5 months agoby justincider

    My wife and I are inseparable.

    The other night it took six policemen and two dogs to pull us apart

    Rolex and Timex

    Hot 4 months ago

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
    acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
    names were...
    The blonde responded by saying that one was named
    Rolex and one was named Timex.
    Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
    dogs like that?"
    "HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're
    watch dogs!"

    A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog more...

    Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
    The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had a_____." Bubba was stumped - he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM." "Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb, more...

    Q. How can you tell when dogs are kinky?
    A. They start doing it in the missionary position.

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