Cheese Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Restaurant order

    Hot 6 months agoby Jenny

    A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
    Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
    Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
    Hand Job: $10.00
    Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
    "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
    "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
    "Yes", she purrs, "I am."
    The man replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

    South Dakota Dumb Laws

    Hot 1 year ago

    - It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
    - Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
    - If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
    - Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

    Puppy Love

    Hot 4 years ago

    The taco Bell chihuahua dog, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar. A female collie then walks in. The collie says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creativly, can have me. So the bulldog goes ''I love liver and cheese'' The collie says ''Not good enough'' The doberman says ''I hate liver and cheese'' The collie goes, ''Not creative enough'' Then the chihuahua dog says, ''Liver alone, cheese mine.''

    On the first day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fourth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fifth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the sixth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the seventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, more...

    Q.) What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office? A.) They're hiring.
    Q.) What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A.) "Dam."
    Q.) How do crazy people go through the forest? A.) They take the psycho path.
    Q.) What do Eskimos get from sitting on the toilet too long? A.) Polaroids.
    Q.) What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? A.) National Dyslexia Association.
    Q.) What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A.) Nacho Cheese.
    Q.) What do you call Santa's helpers? A.) Subordinate Clauses.
    Q.) What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? A.) Quattro sinko.
    Q.) What do you get from a pampered cow? A.) Spoiled milk.
    Q.) What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A.) Frostbite.
    Q.) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A.) A nervous wreck.
    Q.) What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A.) Anyone can roast beef.
    Q.) Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A.) more...

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