Cheese Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Restaurant order

    Hot 1 month agoby Jenny

    A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
    Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
    Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
    Hand Job: $10.00
    Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
    "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
    "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
    "Yes", she purrs, "I am."
    The man replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

    South Dakota Dumb Laws

    Hot 5 months ago

    - It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
    - Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
    - If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
    - Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

    There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

    A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

    The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

    by: larise

    Twelve Days of Fast Food

    Hot 2 years ago

    On the first day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fourth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fifth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the sixth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the seventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, more...

    Once there were three construction workers. When it was lunchtime one day, they all sat down together.
    The first one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, turkey! I hate turkey!" So he shot himself with a rivet gun.
    The second one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, ham! I hate ham!" So he jumped off the building.
    The third one opened his box and said, "Eeew, mac and cheese! I hate mac and cheese!" So he ran himself over with a bulldozer.
    At the funeral, their three wives were talking about their lost husbands. The first two were very sad, but the third was rather puzzled.
    The first wife said, "I thought he liked turkey!"
    The second one said, "I thought he liked ham!"
    But the third one was still puzzled. She said, "I thought he packed his own lunch."

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