Cheese Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Restaurant order

    Hot 3 months agoby Jenny

    A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
    Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
    Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
    Hand Job: $10.00
    Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
    "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
    "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
    "Yes", she purrs, "I am."
    The man replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

    South Dakota Dumb Laws

    Hot 9 months ago

    - It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
    - Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
    - If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
    - Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

    Twelve Days of Fast Food

    Hot 2 years ago

    On the first day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fourth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fifth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the sixth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the seventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, more...

    There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

    A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

    The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

    by: larise

    Tuns of Puns!

    Hot 6 days ago

    How do you get holy water?
    Boil the hell out of it.
    What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
    "Dam!"
    What do prisoners use to call each other?
    Cell phones
    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
    A stick
    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
    Nacho cheese
    What do you get from a pampered cow?
    Spoiled milk
    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite
    What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
    A pool table.
    Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
    They're trying to get away from the noise.
    What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
    The taste.
    What is a polygon?
    A dead parrot.
    How do you stop an elephant from charging?
    Take away its credit cards.
    What's the difference between boogers and spinach?
    You can't get kids to eat spinach.
    What did the horse say when he more...

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