Enough Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

    One day, two bees are buzzing around what's left of a rose bush.
    "How's your summer been?" asks bee number one.
    "Not too good," says bee two. "Lotta rain, lotta cold. There aren't enough flowers, therefore not enough pollen."
    The first bee has an idea. "Hey, why don't you go down to the corner and hang a left? There's a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit."
    Bee two buzzes, "Thanks!" and takes off. An hour later, the bees bump into each other again.
    "How was the bar mitzvah?" asks the first bee.
    "Great!" replies the second.
    The first bee, however, notices a small circle on his friend's head, and inquires, "What's that on your head?"
    "A yarmulke," is the answer. "I didn't want them to think I was a Wasp."

    There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

    A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

    The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

    by: larise

    Amazing Facts

    Hot 3 years ago

    * The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

    * Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

    * The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

    * Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

    * British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

    * Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

    * When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

    HUMOR New 1-Liners

    Hot 1 year ago

    A few choice 1-Liners.


    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    I intend to live forever - so far, so good
    For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
    Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
    I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
    Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

    Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
    I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
    If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
    Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

    Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 more...

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