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    Women Only Hotel

    Hot 1 year ago

    A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.

    "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

    So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: " All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

    The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up.

    They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick."

    They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are more...

    A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance: A woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David.

    They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.

    They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family- oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

    The next drawing looks like a more...

    Helicopter Grenade

    Hot 1 year ago

    There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.
    The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.
    The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.
    The third guy chooses a grenade. So he pulls the pin and throws it out.
    They land a while later and are walking along when they find a man rubbing his head.
    They ask, "
    What happened to you?"
    He answers, "
    An apple hit me on the head."
    They're walking along again and find a man lying unconcious on the ground.
    They ask the cop, "
    What happened to him?"
    He answers, "
    A brick hit him on the head."
    They're walking again, when they find a man laughing histerically.
    They ask, "
    What happened to you?"
    He answers, "
    I farted and the house blew up behind me!"

    The Doctor's Office

    Hot 1 year ago

    A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office.
    The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
    The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
    The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and he charged them $32.00 for the office visit.
    This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.
    Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
    The old man replied, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married and we can't go to her house. I am married so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60.00. The Hilton charges $98.00, we do it here for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's office."

    A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married." "Why not?" giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

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