"Helicopter Grenade" joke

There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.
The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.
The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.
The third guy chooses a grenade. So he pulls the pin and throws it out.
They land a while later and are walking along when they find a man rubbing his head.
They ask, "
What happened to you?"
He answers, "
An apple hit me on the head."
They're walking along again and find a man lying unconcious on the ground.
They ask the cop, "
What happened to him?"
He answers, "
A brick hit him on the head."
They're walking again, when they find a man laughing histerically.
They ask, "
What happened to you?"
He answers, "
I farted and the house blew up behind me!"

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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3

Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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4

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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