Talk Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Wise men talk because they have something to say, Fools talk because they have to say something.

    A little girl and her mother were shopping. The girl asks her mother "How old are you?" Mommy says "Honey, women don't talk about their age, you'll learn later on in life."
    The girl then asks, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Mommy says, That's another thing women don't talk about, you'll find out when you are grown up."
    The girl still wanting to know about her mother asks, "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?" Mommy says, "Honey, that is a subject that hurt me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
    The little girl is frustrated. She tells her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's drivers license. It's just like a report card, it tells you everything."
    The little girl and her mother are shopping again. The girl says, "Mommy, I know how old you are. You are 32 years old." Her mommy is very more...

    Garn Collingwood

    Hot 1 year ago

    I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.

    A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".

    His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.

    "Mum?"

    "Yes son?"

    "I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".

    The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...

    TACO HELL!!!!

    Hot 1 year ago

    by Peter Leppik

    The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.

    On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of
    the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me.

    Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."

    Server: "Is that it?"

    Me: "Yep."

    Server: "That'll be $1. 04, eat here?"

    Me: "No, it's "TO-GO" [I hate effort duplication]."

    At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and

    Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right more...

    The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
    "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
    "Why?"
    "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

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