Fisherman Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
    The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
    The Mexican replied that it took only a little while.
    The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.
    The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
    The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior."
    The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds more...

    Sonofabitch

    Hot 4 months ago

    A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices and asks the priest if he'd like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.
    The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before, to
    which the priest answers no. He baits the hook and says, "Give it a shot, Father."
    After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat.
    The fisherman says, "Whoa, look at that big sonofabitch!"
    Priest: "Uh, sir, can you please mind your language?"
    Fisherman: (THINKING QUICKLY) "I'm sorry, Father, but that's
    what the fish is called: - a sonofabitch."
    Priest: "Oh, I'm sorry, I did not know."
    After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and
    stops the Bishop.
    Priest: "Look at this big sonofabitch!"
    Bishop: "Please, mind your language, this more...

    The Lobster Trick

    Hot 1 month ago

    After a day of ocean fishing, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying a bucket which contains two lobsters. He's approached by the Game Warden who asks to see his fishing license.
    "Oh, I didn't catch these lobsters," the man says, "they're my pets. I come down to the water every day and whistle and these lobsters jump out. Then, I take them for a walk and return them at the end of the day."
    The warden, not believing a word the man said, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
    "Ok, now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water," instructs the warden.
    The fisherman turns to the warden with a sly grin and says, "What lobsters?"

    The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger more...

    I like to fish

    Hot 1 month ago

    A fisherman got married and went to a mountain resort for the honeymoon.
    The resort clerk saw the man at the pier fishing and asked, why are you fishing?
    Shouldn? t you be making love to you? re new bride?
    The fisherman said, Naw, she? s got gonorrhea, but that? s ok I like to fish.
    The clerk said well you could turn her over and get some booty.
    The fisherman said, Naw, she? s got diarrhea, but that? s ok I like to fish.
    The clerk asked well couldn? t you at least get some head?
    The fisherman said, Naw, she? s got pyorrhea, but that? s ok I like to fish.
    The clerk now in disbelief says gonorrhea, diarrhea, pyorrhea, what the hell did you marry her for?
    The fisherman said, She? s also got worms and you know I like to fish.

  • Recent Activity