Girl Jokes

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    A Mother's 3 Daughters

    Hot 2 years ago

    A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
    The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop."
    Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
    The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra long. King Size".
    She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
    The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another more...

    Oh my God

    Hot 2 years ago

    an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
    The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
    the guy said," twenty dollars?"
    "no"
    "one hundred dollars?"
    "no"
    "two hunderd dollars?"
    "no"
    "five hundred dollars?"
    the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
    the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
    while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
    the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
    while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"

    One day a girl went to church to make a confession
    GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sined
    PRIEST: What have you done my child
    GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
    PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch
    GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
    PRIEST: Like this, (as he touches her hand)
    GIRL:Yes father.
    PRIEST: That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch
    GIRL: Then he touched my breast.
    PRIEST: Like this, (as he touched her breast)
    GIRL: Yes father
    PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
    GIRL: Then he took off my clothes father
    PRIEST: Like this, (as he takes off her clothes)
    GIRL: Yes father
    PRIEST: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch
    GIRL: Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where
    PRIEST: Like this, (as he stuck his you know what into her you know here)
    GIRL: YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER
    PRIEST: (after a few minutes) that's no reason to call him a son of a more...

    Comebacks

    Hot 2 years ago

    Boy: Did it hurt?
    Girl: Did what hurt?
    Boy: When you fell from heaven.
    Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell?
    Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
    Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U together.

    This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this year
    In a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?"
    "That's correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical info.
    Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
    After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class... and never returned.
    However, as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was classic...
    Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of more...

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